‘RED ONE’ Review - The 80's Called, They Made a Movie and Time Warped It to 2024

Reviews are mixed for action-adventure-buddy-cop-comedy Red One, starring an absolutely ripped J. K. Simmons (Invincible, Spider Man), Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Chris Evans (The Avengers, Knives Out). Soy-chugging left-wingers are universally condemning the film as an overly masculine, testosterone-fueled nightmare that could only appeal to deplorables and toxic males. More reasonable reviewers, however, are taking a more measured approach to the film, with some offering tepid praise for its unashamed masculinity and pro-family themes while also decrying its “soullessness”.

The premise of the film is that Santa Claus is essentially some sort of demi-god with a vast sci-fi complex at the North Pole, populated by an army of magical creatures and talking animals that help him pull off the Mission Impossible-like feat of delivering presents to every household on earth once a year on the night before Christmas. In order to accomplish his goals, Santa is allied with a secretive multinational spy agency called MORA (Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority).

Overall, Red One feels a lot like an 80's action film, complete with scenes designed around showcasing the actors’ spectacular muscles. There's hot cars, hot women, hackers, sci-fi super-gadgets, full-throttle brawls, and alpha-male faceoffs.

In some ways, however, the film comes across as a hopeless muddle of disparate elements borrowed from a hodgepodge of more modern material, such as Harry Potter, Narnia, Hellboy, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and various modern spy franchises. The Marvel-like unseriousness and constant sarcastic quipping are particularly jarring.

Any fan of European mythology is in for a treat, however, with various famous monsters and night creatures lovingly brought to life through prosthetics and movie magic. The Krampus creature and his fiery sledge are particularly impressive, along with a gigantic ogre that appears during the film’s climax.

While the film's good qualities go a long way toward displacing the bad, a pervasive and unmistakable streak of cowardice runs through this Christmas movie―namely that it is noticeably free of the name of Christ, except perhaps as an expletive. How you make a Christmas movie without even making an attempt to honor the name of Christ is bewildering. Of course, this is to be expected of any modern Hollywood production, as the industry is run by devilish individuals who hate Christ above all else.

Film Threat is convinced the film will bomb. Chris Gore and Alan Ng report that the film is not drawing crowds and project that Red One could be the second biggest flop of the year.

While looking over negative reviews of the film from “professionals”, British pop culture commentator Disparu said of Red One, “I wasn't interested in this movie until I started to read the bad reviews. [...] The more [offensively critical] they get, the more [I think I’ll] like it.” Disparu also contrasted Red One with Joker 2, pointing out that the Christmas film was at least designed to make money, while Joker 2 was not.

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